marlyse.comme, myself and my life
Monday, August 1, 2005
Is the forest there just because you know it’s there?
Today is a day “nee-aihnk” mood. You don’t know what that is? Then you must be a guy, because every girl would nod and say, “ahh, PMS”.
No, I am NOT in “that time” but definitely FEEL like what I CONSIDER this weird symptom called PMS would be like. And why I think it’s weird? I never had heard about this thing existing, not until I set foot onto this continent. So I lived a life of happily recurring bleeding, never bothered with this week of stress and instability under which millions of girls seem to suffer - because PMS did NOT EXIST in my universe.
But now? 8 years trained in accepting the fact that this is part of female living, I find myself watching out for symptoms and catch myself with the beginning stages of agreement that I might show and “suffer” under the same one week per month of insanely instable emotional feelings and what not. Was I all these years in denial? Nope.
And this makes me thinking, is the forest only there because you know it’s there and thus just plain expect it to be there and there would be no forest if nobody knew about it?
Then, when I get this far with thinking - I go “duh!” of course - reality is agreement and if nobody would know there would be only some agreement that there is a ‘not know’ and no agreement (yet) that there is a forest and thus (so far) there would be no forest, only not-know-if.
So, at WHICH point exactly, does the forest come into existence?
Of course BEFORE the not-know was put there in the first place.
And finding out if there indeed is a forest is just like the game of putting the car keys somewhere and forgetting where and go looking all over the house for an hour and make your spouse go up the walls and then “finding” them, while all the way you basically knew exactly where they where, you just played this game with yourself of not-know.
I very well know that these are not new thoughts and I am thinking them not for the first time as I had them in the past too, it’s just sometimes nice of re-finding something like this.
But the question still remains - do I now, after many, many years of not having PMS suddenly have “it”?
A hint: true disagreement (i.e. with no counter-considerations) can go a long way.
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