I finally figured it out.

I’m not the person to write a highly visited blog. I’m just not. Everything goes in spurts. So does this. And that is the death of any blogger who wants a steady clientele. I COULD, but I finally figures out that I am actually not interested in putting my time into a witty and entertaining others blog. Sorry.

It’s 6:30 AM and only having 4 hours of disrupted sleep – twice IS enough to wake me up, even with a pounding and tired head, can’t sleep any longer – I’m sitting here holding hands with my daily computer backup which for sone reason is acting up and browsing Flickr and Performance and staring at the gaps in the timeline in my own blog and also my photo-blog myView – both sections of my life I really like but have been horribly neglected recently, and that is the moment I come to terms with this fact: I am not going to be ALSO an entertainer.

Why do I say that? Well easy, there are so many things I’m involved with, I am spreading thin and inconsistent on all of them to the point that I feel I am progressing nowhere truly nor enough:

• this blog, daily entry plus I’d like to catch up from many years back.
• myView (photo-blog), means to take each day a photo and upload it.
• mStudiosREALM (my art), big project of scanning whatever I can and upload it after preparing it with watermark for the web.
• mStudiosWORLD (my official photos), this requires finding more photos and taking more photos and then uploading them after preparing them for the web with watermarks etc.
• photos (my personal photos), which I first need to re-install because some idiot gained access and deleted 4/5 of them.
• family gallery (again, photos), from get-togethers, need to be selected and then uploaded.
• flickr, this is a great source to get in communication with other artists, but it also requires regular uploads and visits, next to getting in touch with others and commenting there etc.
• stumble, similar like flickr but mere entertainment and stimulus.
• my art (paintings and drawings), this is a core of my world and way not established enough and it’s an immense time eater when fully lived.
• my daily sketches, either on paper or how about putting the Wacom screen tablet to full use?
• our house (maintenance and remodeling), there go the week-ends.
• my partner (yah, that’s Bear), well yeah!
• cooking, something I love to do and the only means to get real good food in suburbia but which easily eats 1 to 2 hours a day.
• family (BIG family with many birthday and other get-togethers), it’s my social network as I no longer hit the bars nor the clubs.
• our cats, they want to play or be smooched constantly and they compete enough with real children.
• 3D and animation, this area has drowned into non-existence in the past 2 years but screams to be revived, and with that goes all the communication lines with other computer geeks.
• coding, and this includes advancing in CSS, PHP, web coding and how about finally learning Flash?
• design, which includes reading and studying some design books and to become really, really good.
• regular administration duties, like monthly finance admin to avoid a yearly accounting hell for tax reporting as I have known it in the past few years?
• body workout, which I found 3x a week a bare minimum and onto which to add some dance/ballet and swimming would be what I want.
• saving the world, which I do some and in spurts, but how about making it a staple in my weekly world?
• opening my brain with philosophical studies, which for now I’m trying to have at least every Sunday for a couple of hours.
• playing, either World of Warcraft or The Sims, both act as horrible addictions and time eaters.
• work, yeah, next to all the above this is something also to be done until I hit the Jackpot or my art begins to sell for a living.

Does this also seem to be a tad much for you? It’s just plain impossible for me to get it all combined into one smooth and steady going as much as I try and thus all goes in spurts. But I haven’t given up yet, I still want it to work… like I want it to work. But I do have to set priorities, and entertaining the masses is not one which I want to add to the list. So this is the last time I will excuse myself for not writing a regular blog – either you like to drop in from time to time or subscribe in RSS mode to see what I am up to, or you don’t. This blog is now officially re-instated to its original purpose : as a personal journal, mainly as my own outlet and collector of some of my thoughts and my day-to-day but optionally also entertaining to YOU, the stumbler.

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