Sad… but proud.

About an hour ago I received a phone call from my dad. Once again he lost the finished typed email to me before being able to send it – he does it all online and his server throws him out during the time he is typing into the browser window and then he needs to re-log into the server and that process always kills the already written email – and so he just gave me a call instead.

He had arrived well, but still is feeling the jet lag. Also, he mentioned that for the first time the flight seemed to be taking forever. But he is doing fine and having fun at Pam’s, she has her relatives there and they are playing games all day and eating a lot of good food.

Then he gave me an update on the condition of my aunt Madeleine. As I had written 2 weeks ago in the posting Bad News she was hit with a cold which in her current situation is not good at all. Later that week the news was that she was out of immediate grave condition, but that she would not be able to return to her spaces at the assisted living place due to the fact that she needs every 2 days a blood transfusion. Nobody wanted to tell her and she thought she’d just get better and then go back.

Obviously the situation was faced this week and she decided that instead of spending the rest of her days at the hospital in a clinical and non-personal environment, that she wants to go back to the other place and let nature run its course. “There” is a cozy place with warm and caring people and things from her home.

On Thursday she had her last blood transfusion.

And I am crying again. It is so hard to let loose. Because it’s only a matter of days. Yesterday was the first skipped blood transfusion. I might not even reach her tomorrow anymore. She is weak. But obviously had a good day today and received a lot of phone calls (my dad had also called her).

She is so high in spirits and completely alert. No fuzziness. Only weak. And as her red blood cells are dying, the weaker she is getting and dying too. And that will be the end. But she feels no pains and I am so happy to hear that.

It is so hard to say good-bye.

But I am so proud of her. She is a truly brave spirit and a lovely being.

Technorati Tags: death, loss, good-bye, aunt