marlyse.comme, myself and my life
Tuesday, January 2, 2007
Torn
Torn between the things I feel I SHOULD do and the things I actually WANT to do.
I am between the pressure of learning more web design, more CSS, more PHP, more code, more Flash, more ActionScript, more, more, more (and where has all the 3D and animation time gone to? I’m trying not even to go THERE!)… and the urge to PAINT and PAINT and work on THAT.
So I am trying to get everything done at the same time and this is just tightening space around me, tighter and tighter and tighter and then I feel ‘bad” doing what I feel would be best in the long run because I’m so much tied up in the current situation and necessities and it’s ping-pong’ing me all over the place with the result that in the end nothing is being done fully right.
But I can no longer NOT do what I feel is basic to me as being me - and now I am working on getting it nailed down somehow in a daily routine that I can fullfil all of the most important things - but I’m having a hard time with this, a lot of things I am not able to do in the evening because I am plain and easy tired and lack the energy to go crazy on stuff like painting large scale stuff etc.
I am feeling my way, and re-adjusting. For example, for years I’ve spent a lot of time in the morning to do my email, and admin, and read the news, write my blog, check-out jobs and plan the day etc. and often would get side-tracked and basically “loose” a lot of the morning (my most lively and active time is usually between 10 AM and 2 PM) - now I finally realize that these are things I can do in the evening when I am no longer up for many hours of standing or physical activities.
Things like this I am working on spotting and to take into account and re-adjust to increase the amount of stuff I can get done on a regular daily basis.
created late at night - it was 11:15 pm to be exact | trackback |
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