marlyse.comme, myself and my life
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
In response.
As I’m wandering off into pondering, I decided not to answer via comments - on the former entry “Tired” - but directly…
Hi Brenda - yes, this comment came through, thank you very much! I get like 500 spam a day and the validation code is part of sieving - though I do have now a much better code in the background (called “Askimet”) and I actually might remove this additional barrier for entering the validation code (i.e. the picture stuff) at some point.
Yes, sometimes there are days of just kinda… walking.
I’m not even depressed. Just in “nowhere land”. In general I am not a sad person. But living in the US is getting to me, at least at times. Living in the Suburbs, is getting to me and the distant life people life here from each other. Strangers, church goers, who are not interested beyond the fence of their yard, who ask “how are you doing” at check-out in the store but don’t want a true answer, by golly, this would mean interaction with another being and… oh my, an effort to listen and to maybe even care.
Sometimes, living in Nowhere makes me drawn-out. I’m between two countries, with such different ethnic, the one side of it offensive, and invading other territories while the other side is known for it’s neutrality and keeping out of it. The one side so small and tight knitted, with tradition and pride while the other side has space and waste in abundance and watered down copies from everywhere.
And at this point I am neither fully.
Maybe it’s the artist in me, maybe I always feel I need to create dichotomy and me in-between. I guess in some way I need it as I am constantly putting myself into situations like this and I always feel I need to get these opposing sides into harmony and into something combined and new to be able to BE “it” and in harmony myself. Because, I AM these sides, but at the same time I am torn and shredded to pieces by these forces.
I am the eagle and the scorpion. The beauty and the black hole.
AND I am terribly good at self-pity.
Ahhh… I love the expression of having some coffee and chocolate together - this is exactly what I do… every day. Literally.
One of the things I did get accustomed to is drinking a lot - A LOT - of Americanized coffee (simple brewed coffee, mostly FOLGERS, a brand widely known here and actually not too shabby in taste). But I missed European, Swiss TRUE coffee - only 4 ounces with a “crema” a layer of creamed air, created during the making of the coffee through a lot of pressure which presses the air through the coffee ground. Getting a NESPRESSO machine was the answer. I used to have one, back in Switzerland and knew that their coffee is good and they have many options to choose from Not cheap, but worth every penny. And since years now that is what I enjoy. Instead of American coffee by the bulk, it’s just one. Maybe two. No sugar added, but a small drop of half&half (half milk and half cream) and alongside of that goes a Chiradelli chocolate square (1/4 of a serving).
YES - coffee and chocolate.
And sometimes, yes, sometimes life tastes exactly like that.
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