In this time I do not want my posts be automatically posted to Twitter or to Facebook and I deleted both widgets. I need to write but don’t want all those eyes – people who think me important enough to come here by their own are okay.
Feelings are going in waves in circles, from beginning to feel okay to fully devastated again. It seems to be ebbing off. Seems. Some of the terrifying images from Tricky’s death minutes are getting less and less severe, the more we talk about it. I am saying good-by to him at all the different spots in our house where he usually likes to hang out and when I suddenly realize that he will never be there again.
Xena, I do not know where she’s at. The odd thing was yesterday, she did not come throughout the incident nor at least 15 minutes after up into the kitchen. Usually, when Tricky was not doing well, she’d be instantly there. When I’m distress or upset, she’s usually right there. For the most she seems okay, but in between we hear her cry for him. But she does not seem restless. Stays mostly with us in her usual places, brings her many toys. At times you see her looking as if she’s expecting him around the corner. She’s been eating okay. But I’m watching her, want to make sure she’s okay.